Spiritual Parenting

          As parents, we must keep before us, at all times, the knowing that God has lent our children to us - we do not own them. Our mission is to gently, patiently, and decisively lead them to a life exemplified by the Fruits of the Spirit, and to encourage the growth and development of their innate, God -given gifts. We must remember we are teaching our children through example, even when we are not aware they are watching.

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      Basic Principles of Spiritual Parenting

          First, we should remember that each of our children has a special gift, a talent, a skill or Godly trait. Magnify this gift, minimize the shortcomings. It is our job to instill a healthy, secure self-image.

          Be a good listener, an intuitive listener. Children will tell you what they need. Keep the door open for them to talk to you. Even the mumbling of a toddler has meaning. Communication is often done through behavior. So observe and listen.

          Allow your children to make choices and face some of the consequences. Learning and understanding that the Earth is a "cause and effect" world will arm them for the future. Therefore, provide a safe environment that encourages experience and reflection as learning tools.

          Set examples that are of high moral character. Live it for them to see. Most children will follow their parent's lead, even if it is not the highest road.

          Supervise their circle of influence: TV, movies, friends, books, etc. The goal is not to overly control or limit their experiences, but to provide age-appropriate exposure to those influences that may tempt or mislead them. No one learns all at once, but here a little, there a little.

          Don't be too quick to punish. Instead, demonstrate and clarify the right way. All souls, even little ones, crave enlightenment. Patience must prevail.

          Never insult, put down or insinuate your children are a nuisance, a bother, inconvenient, or troublesome to you. This will repress their fragile spirit and compromise the trust they have placed in you to define their self picture. Think before you speak. Respect their uniqueness.

          Set well-thought-out boundaries for your children, realizing that, at times, you may be unpopular. Remember, they do not need you as a friend. Leave room for growth and failure. Truth is often learned through suffering - little doses at a time.

          Interpret the world for your children using God's standards as a measuring rod. Teach them to pray, to wait patiently for God's guidance, to be still enough to hear God and to trust their inner voice. Read to them often from books (especially the Bible) that demonstrate high morals, sound character and peaceful solutions.

          Finally, and perhaps most importantly, never be timid in showing love and acceptance for the little souls God has allowed you to care for.

Rev. Dr. David W. Stevens

© 2006