Home and Family Life - Susan L. Stevens, author, Christian Natural Health Consultant, Christian lifestyle ideas, Christian home, Christian family

The Value of the Home Arts

           For decades, all little girls were taught, at least to some degree, how to cook, bake, sew and, maybe, garden. If they didn't learn these things at home, they learned them in Home Economics classes at school. The home was of prime importance, the feminine gender the cornerstone of the family. Girls were inclined to understand the importance of their contribution in homemaking and they were expected to develop the skills necessary to create a well-managed home. Until the sixties, most were happy to do so.
             Since then, little by little, changing societal standards have chipped away at traditional women's roles, home life and relationships, so much so that home arts are practically nonexistent - at least, from a "values-oriented" perspective. With so little time to devote to making an exceptional home, demands of home keeping relate more to maintenance issues rather than teaching our daughters how to create a sanctuary for those we care about and share our lives with.
             With most women working outside the home, even part time, many wonderful chances for sharing our knowledge of caring for our homes and families have been lost. As a consequence, few girls learn valuable homemaking skills like their counterparts did a generation or two ago. Needless to say, most would agree that it has become necessary to work, in spite of significant data that supports the value of a traditional home life. However, this remains a personal choice that requires careful consideration beyond the immediate financial benefits to the long-term effects on our children.
             There are many reasons to make the learning of home arts a priority in your child's life. Meaningful education and character-building can be gleaned from many simple experiences within the home. Learning to cook and bake offers lessons in hygiene, food safety, nutrition and self-sufficiency. Your daughter's knowledge of mathematics can be enhanced through measurement and timekeeping. Cooking provides an opportunity for giving, sharing and communing. Learning how to make healthy food choices invites awareness of our body's physical needs. Preparation of food by a mother and her daughter(s) bonds them in an ancient ritual of providing sustenance to ensure life.
             Sewing skills can be helpful for maintaining quality of life, home decorating and fulfilling basic needs. Making a potholder, quilt, apron or doll can be fun, the product useful, as well. Making gifts encourages thoughtfulness of others and inspires creativity. Learning to garden teaches her how to care for the earth, as well as about life cycles and conservation. She learns the value of providing fresh chemical-free foods to the family. Gardening also examples the laws of abundance and requires spiritual dedication, as experienced in hope and faith for a glorious harvest.
             Encouraging our daughters to nurture others through skills that support the home and wellbeing secures the future health and wellness of their own children. Home arts build beneficial self-esteem and positive self-image. They make our daughters and granddaughters capable, aware and independent. They provide wonderful opportunities for bonding and exchanging love, as well as providing moments that earn your attention for constructive behavior. They encourage Christian values and Godly traits of love for others, a genuine appreciation for life and the rewards of hard, but invaluable, work that directly impacts her quality of life.
             The following books will help you and your daughter(s) learn new things together. This set of four home arts books would make a very special gift from Mother:

                1. The Healthy Start Kids' Cookbook:
                          Fun and Healthy Recipes that Kids can Make Themselves
                    by Sandra K. Nissenberg, Publisher: John Wiley and Sons, Inc.
                2. The Children's Kitchen Garden
                    by Ethel and Georgeanne Brennan, Publisher: TenSpeed Press
                3. Stitches and Pins: A Beginning Sewing Book for Girls
                    by JoAnn Gagnon, Publisher: Bunkhouse Books
                4. Mothers and Daughters at Home: 35 Projects to Make Together
                    by Charlotte Lyons, Publisher: Simon and Schuster

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Going Green, or At Least Green-er!

Note: While in Dayton, Ohio recently, I had the chance for a photo op with Matt Fox and Shari Hiller of HGTV's Room by Room, the popular home decorating show. They are terrific folks and a lot of fun (just like on TV!) and have announced their new show - Matt & Shari's Design Club - which airs beginning this spring. Be sure to watch! I had a chance to speak with them personally and Matt shared some of his creative "going green" ideas - very timely since I was in the midst of writing this article. You can visit their website at www.mattandshari.com.

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Everybody's going some shade of "green" - somewhat green, pretty green or very green! By "going green" I mean being aware of and responsible for the impact of your personal consumer choices on the planet and taking action to improve the environment and the quality of our everyday lives. Most of us are aware, to one degree or another, of global warming, water conservation, air quality, food purity, landfill pollution, greenhouse gases, sustainable energy, etc. These are real issues that impact us socially, culturally and politically. More than that, they impact our personal well-being and the well-being of the earth.

Decisions made by big corporations, fuel processors, factories, chemical producers, large-scale farmers, real estate developers and transportation companies intrude upon the quality of our lives, both directly and indirectly. When their actions are based on bottom-line profits, the state of the world and its inhabitants aren't necessarily taken into consideration. Some companies, however, especially smaller ones, are acknowledging the responsibility of their choices and are sincerely striving to improve their methods for the sake of the future. We applaud them and encourage you to support and patronize them. Let them know that our expectations for the world we envision are high, as is our appreciation of their efforts.

Within our own lives, the decisions we make about our food and water, fuel consumption and waste disposal make for a life that is healthy, safe and dynamic or unwell, harmful and counter-productive. Whether you agree that there is a global problem or not, all of us can benefit by making changes that are environmentally friendly and economically sound.

The easiest way to go green is to utilize the three R's: REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE! Eliminating waste, being a little more frugal and reinventing objects before you throw them out simply means being more effective and saving your family tons of money. Self-employed people have long known the value of the three R's! Watch for these keywords and phrases when making purchases and using services: organic, natural, chemical-free, from sustainable sources, fuel efficient, environmentally low-impact, made from recycled materials, etc.

Get the kids involved by teaching them how to use recycle bins. Teach them to donate their old toys and clothes. Strive to instill in them an appreciation for our environment, teaching them how we need: pure clean water to drink; wholesome chemical-free foods grown in clean rich soil to nourish us; and unpolluted air to breathe and remain healthy. Let them know that all living things (birds, plants and animals) rely on these same elements to live, just as we do.

Going green requires that we become aware, conscientious and intentional about our choices and how they will impact our planet's delicate balance. While it's not possible for us individually to change the world, it is possible to make an impact in our own lives and those we care about. Start right where you are and watch it grow - GREEN!

Some great websites to inspire you:

www.eartheasy.com www.organicmall.com www.kidsrecycle.org

www.planetnatural.com www.energystar.com www.earth911.com

www.reduce.org www.greenhome.com

www.goodwill.org www.salvationarmyusa.org

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To Dine, Divine

"Little things mean a lot" - a simple proverb with a lot of weight. It is so true that many things, seemingly simple in nature, have profound effect on us and far-reaching meaning to our lives. Sustenance, being a basic necessity, an essential requirement common to all living things, has more significance than just creating energy, growth and longevity for humans. We stand alone in having the privilege of spiritual-natured exchange when sharing a meal with each other.

Partaking of food and gathering together can reflect an expression of our love, acceptance, comfort, trust and compassion. It is a family communion and can be very relationship-strengthening. It can be peace-generating, as well as mentally, emotionally and physically healing. It allows for a respite from negative daily demands that life away from each other creates, allowing us to relinquish stress, exhaustion, isolation and separation.

When we "break bread" together, particularly in our home surroundings, we reestablish connection with our family members, both individually and collectively. We talk, we listen, we give each other individual attention, focusing our awareness to their needs. We become present, fully consumed in the here and now, regaining a sense of our family identity as we relate our experiences of life to each other. For whatever reason life pulls us apart, it is a celebration of unity when we gather again at the table, sharing our bounty, our familiarity, our love.

Saying grace, sharing a blessing, a moment of silence to thank our Creator, deepens the experience of our meal together. A meaningful family tradition can be established - one that encourages our children to be grateful and to feel "included". Their participation in preparing the meal, setting the table, creating a centerpiece, serving the food, etc. encourages positive self-image, harmony with other family members, self-responsibility and service to others.

We encourage you to establish a regular time to dine together, at one table, as often as possible, with all family members present, and not just on special occasions. The rewards are too significant to make light of or to give excuse for. You will clearly enjoy the "divine" as you dine - together!

Some practical tips that help make the transition to divine dining easier:

1. Remove electronics - no cell phones, pagers, TVs, loud music, etc.

2. Commit to be present and insist all members are, adjusting the dining schedule, if necessary

3. Let the world wait, exempt yourselves from appointments and commitments at the dinner hour

4. Avoid discussions of discipline, points of contention, division or criticism

5. Children will gladly follow the example of adults who demonstrate their commitment

6. Encourage manners and practice patience at the table, especially with little ones

7. Keep the environment relaxed and quiet, remembering that someone may have had a long, difficult day

* When you begin to see success (give it some time) pass the word to others of your experience and encourage them to make a meaningful mealtime together.

[You can visit www.casafamilyday.org/PDFs/reportIV.pdf to further understand how family dining together influences teen behavior and impacts society.]

Susan L. Stevens

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Summer Vacation? Travel Smart!

Take only what you need - but be sure of what that is! It's best to pack light and buy extras later. Save room for the mementos and things you'll be bringing home from your vacation. Get organized first and scale down to the necessaries. Make all pre-trip purchases early in the week.

Remember - vacation diet, sun and heat can be hazardous to your health! Take fresh and dried fruit, prepackaged light snacks, bottles of drinking water, juice packs and a few other nonperishables.

Always make a checklist to help you remember vital essentials! Meds, vitamins, a cooler, cell phone chargers, and a small first aid kit might be on that list. Baby? Don't forget diapers & wipes, formula & bottles, an extra layette. Toddler? Bring an expandable baby gate, outlet covers, an extra cup and shirts.

Value every moment together and make it count! You're creating memories to last a lifetime. Gift everyone with a small journal & disposable camera to record their experiences. Take time during the long drive to talk, play travel & word games and discuss the scenery.

Experience the sights and sounds of your vacation destination! Besides the amusements that are scheduled, why not visit the historic district, attend a concert, meet the locals, visit specialty shops. Obtain a town map & visitor pack ahead of time.

Lighten up and leave the worries behind! Forget work & family issues - this is your time to get reacquainted and refocused. Enjoy the sun and the rain and the communion and forget the rest for now.

Safety counts! Before you leave home, make a photo of each family member. Make a list of doctors, blood types, allergies and emergency contact numbers. Don't leave your insurance card at home - keep it with you. Discuss safety with the kids, set time & activity limits & never leave them unattended.

Map your route and leave a copy with your nearest relative or closest friend! Leave them with your itinerary, hotel location and phone numbers, as well as all your personal cell phone numbers and a house key. Keep them posted on any major changes in your schedule or destination.

Avoid the pitfalls! Don't pack at the last minute and check your vehicle's fuel, fluids and tires the day before. Allow extra time for unexpected departure delays. Expect to encounter travel delays, as well - detours, bad weather, etc. Don't forget the map, checkbook, travelers cheques, IDs, etc.

Rest often when taking a long trip! Traveling can be very tiring to the driver and the passengers, especially young ones. Avoid medications and never drink alcohol while traveling. Stop at least every hour to stretch, use bathroom facilities and trading places. Headphones, video games & TV are draining, too, and detract from what your trip together could be.

Take time to discuss your trip together when you return! Exchange photos and read from each other's journals. Laugh about the great times, make light of the disappointments. Record or videotape your discussion for review during the depths of winter & enjoy it again. This is a great way to reinforce this wonderful bonding experience.

Have an incredible family adventure!

Susan L. Stevens

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Off to the Museum

When warm weather arrives, it doesn't take long for parents to run out of productive things for the kids to do. Big weekend getaways can be expensive, tiring for little ones and boring for older kids. TV and video games are a poor excuse for whiling away the time and come with a set of negative health effects, as well. However, there are many entertaining things a family can do that are inexpensive, enjoyable and a learning experience in disguise, too!

Visiting a museum is one of the best family outings you can make together. Interesting, low cost (or free) and you can find a museum to suit just about any interest - no matter what that might be. There are history museums that feature modern and/or ancient times; art museums to inspire young and old artists alike; science and technology museums that almost always offer alot of hands-on activities to do; cultural heritage museums to learn about other countries and their peoples; natural history museums that appeal to dinosaur lovers and budding archaeologists. Special interest museums are plentiful - whether you are fond of trains or old cars, a doll collector, into space travel and the solar system, steam engines, music or textiles. There are children's museums, working farm museums, living history museums and Christian museums that examine Biblical history and creation.

Touring a museum can be an enjoyable time for the older generation, the disadvantaged and the handicapped, as well. Take your parents or grandparents, a child down the street or the kids' friends - someone who doesn't typically have exposure to this kind of experience. It will be inspiring to some, create a feeling of inclusion for others and be a memorable experience for everyone.

When planning a vacation, don't forget to check out the little museums in town. They reveal alot about your destination, its history and the people that live there. Call the local historical society or library for suggestions. Tourism centers and the local Chamber of Commerce can be a big help, too.

Not sure where to go? Museums abound in every state in the US and throughout the world. Here are four great websites to help you catch the museum bug:

www.museumsusa.org

www.museumspot.com

www.childrensmuseums.org

www.icom.museum/vlmp

Click onto www.mapquest.com to plot your course, plan a little picnic or lunch while you're out and have a great time!

Susan L. Stevens

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The Joys of Winter Reading

The simple pleasure of curling up with a good book can be a most enjoyable way to spend a cold winter's evening. It can be an effective stress reliever, perfect for gently letting go of the cares of a frazzled day that overflowed with hefty personal demands and mental drain. In a glorious instant, you can experience other cultures and travel to faraway lands through the eyes of a world traveler; relive ancient and modern history events; learn a foreign language; discover little known secrets of master artists, heady poets and literary geniuses; or magically transport yourself into the realm of a fictional fantasy world - all from the comfort of an easy chair.

Winter reading is also a wonderful way to spend time together - whether sitting in the same room reading silently, or reading aloud - partner-to-partner, parent-to-child (& vice versa) or with each family member taking turns. Reading together then becomes a highly effective bonding tool, both physically and emotionally - especially when it becomes a regular activity, a specific hour or so set aside for all to look forward to. What a wonderful way to forget the snow and blustery wind and freezing temps!

Work-related reading or reading for homework assignments ensures a certain level of anxiety and ambition which equals stress. Pleasure reading, on the other hand, focusing on the moment and each other, creates true quality time. Such a positive experience together relinquishes stress and less stress means better physical, mental and spiritual health for adults and children alike. Family relationships improve and a more stable, harmonious homelife is created.

There are many other tangible benefits to reading, especially aloud:

· imagination, creativity and curiosity are stimulated

· thinking, reasoning and communication skills improve

· IQ scores can actually raise

· world perspectives broaden, as does awareness of others

· children tend to do better in school, have less depression & better self-esteem

· the elderly tend to stay more interested in life, alert and healthy, possibly offsetting mental deterioration and depression

Perhaps, best of all, teaching your children to read early in life has proven to instill a lifelong love of books, reading and learning, in general. A simple and valuable gift with such wonderful benefits - that is a great legacy indeed!

Your local library or bookmobile has thousands of books to select from for your reading time. They are free - a real blessing for those on a tight budget! Get a library card (there is no charge) for yourself and the kids - that's all it takes to have reading material for the rest of your life! Books on tape are particulary fun. Don't know where to find a library or the bookmobile schedule? Click on to www.publiclibraries.com. This site has a listing of libraries and their websites for every state, along with a lot of very useful info and links, as well.

Now, go get a good book and a reading partner or gather the whole family together, turn off the TV and video games and start reading tonight. You'll be so glad you did. It's a win-win experience for everyone!

Susan L. Stevens

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Out With the Old, In With the New

Transitioning your personal living space to one that reflects comfort, love and ideals can be challenging when it comes to implementation. For example, it may take time for all family members to "get with the program". Old habits are hard to break and some personality types are just naturally resistant to change - even if it is for the better. Patience is the keyword! It is better to invite change than to force it. Remember, the goal is to create an environment of serenity and creativity, not a war zone. The best way to accomplish this is to introduce change gradually, one step at a time.

Give the family time to grow into a new way of thinking. Solicit input from each individual member. Give full attention and eye contact when someone offers a new idea to incorporate. It will pay off with excitement and creativity. Hands-on participation generates cooperation and positive self-esteem, which translates into appreciation for the new surroundings. Be willing to make concessions and, above all, have realistic expectations for your house and family.

However, don't be afraid to set new standards and boundaries . If you've created a "sanctuary" for spiritual purposes, don't allow the dog and kids to play and eat there. Instill a reverence and respect for what you are trying to accomplish. Educate the family on the purpose of the room and remain committed to your goals. Your vision will catch on and blossom, in time, in everyone!

Keep in mind that the smallest change can produce great impact. Something as simple as a piece of stained glass in a window, a plant in a child's room, a big soft pillow in Dad's favorite chair, or candles in the bathroom for you can inspire everyone and ignite the imagination for what can be.

There is no doubt that the most important element in developing a very special homeplace is the love expressed within its walls for each and every member and visitor that graces its space. Working together for positive change here, can motivate others to change in many other ways for the better. A new appreciation for each other can be the result; a strengthened family unit - one that is more harmonious, cooperative, loving and giving - can be attained. That is the highest level of achievement for any group of people. Just think, it can start by simply changing the color of a wall!

Susan L. Stevens

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24 Simple Ways to Create a Special Homeplace

Inside:

1. Paint your walls a new color by picking up a shade from furnishings you already have. Keep in mind that color can be energizing, calming, healing or spiritualizing, so choose accordingly.

2. Natural light is very life-giving. Replace heavy window treatments with light ones and open the windows regularly throughout the year for refreshing the air inside.

3. Stimulate the imagination and creativity by placing oversized books on nature (birds, flowers, environment, etc.), travel and foreign lands, art and cooking within easy reach for all ages.

4. Bring God into the house by placing live plants in every room - potted, hanging or terrariums.

5. For beautiful sound throughout the house, hang small windchimes over vents and near windows.

6. Candles can subtly change the energies of the house, creating a calming ambiance. Fragrance can affect mood, stimulate memory and enhance well-being. Use both liberally.

7. Switch the smorgasbord of family photos with black and whites only, baby photos only, historic family photos only, etc., and change often.

8. Replace outdated whatnots and framed prints with carefully selected, meaningful pieces.

9. Put small self-contained fountains or aquariums in the most-used rooms to promote nature and nurturing.

10. Use natural fibers and fabrics, wood flooring and environmentally-sound products as often as possible. Don't forget to use non-toxic cleaning products and paints.

11. Devote one room or one area away from the main energies of the house to read, daydream, pray and meditate. No electronics (TVs, stereos, iPods, computers, cell phones, etc.) here!

12. Simplify decor. Regularly clean, declutter and organize each room.

Outside:

1. Changing the color of house trim, shutters and doors can dramatically revitalize the overall look of the home.

2. Plant a vegetable garden to nourish the health of the family, using organic gardening seeds and methods.

3. Plant a new flowerbed in a neglected area and replace overgrown, overage bushes and trees with new varieties to revitalize and energize the landscape.

4. Ponds, large or small, create interest, bring nature close and make for a tranquil, stress-relieving atmosphere.

5. Plant a thoughtfully selected tree in honor of a special event or to remember a loved one in a meaningful, symbolic way.

6. Teach your children to respect and appreciate nature with plantings that feed and house wildlife, as well as bird houses, feeders and birdbaths, bat houses and butterfly houses.

7. Provide plenty of safe, comfortable seating for relaxing, reading, napping, visiting and communing with nature. Utilize arbors, pergolas and tree canopies.

8. Place religious or spiritually symbolic statuary throughout the grounds to reflect your beliefs.

9. Create a special secluded spot to pray and meditate. A bamboo planting, chimes, water feature and other small spiritual details can make this place enchanting.

10. Make all pathways, sidewalks and driveways safe and attractive for foot and vehicle traffic - free of debris, plant overgrowth and in good repair.

11. Utilize natural products - stone, wood, twigs, bricks, etc. as often as possible to keep a harmonious-to-the-environment look.

12. Clean, declutter and organize garages, barns, sheds, patios and porches regularly. Overall upkeep is essential to a better quality of life.

Susan L. Stevens

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House Transformation : Creating A Home

What is it that makes a house a home, or a shelter a sanctuary? The question can evoke a multitude of explanations addressing a myriad of tangibles and intangibles, and is different for every person. The concept of "home" is not really elusive, neither is it exclusively reliant upon size, style, amenities, location or social status. If we think about it in the most simplistic terms, we realize the answer lies somewhere between our basic spiritual beliefs and our ability to best express them in material ways.

How well we are able to develop a living space that is harmonious with our beliefs is totally dependent on being in touch with our inner Self. What is it that allows us to discover joy and share it; to well-up love and give it; to embrace and practice peace and sustain it; to create hope and demonstrate it with confidence; to accept comfort for ourselves and then be able to comfort others? These are the Godly attributes found in varying degrees of developmental levels within each of us. Translating them, materially, transforms our houses into homes.

Individual expression of our beliefs establishes the life lived within its walls, and reflects, not only our life "style", but more importantly, what we define as valuable in life, in general. How we design, decorate and maintain our living space exemplifies and magnifies our strengths and weaknesses, our creative potential, our physical energy levels and our individuality. To create a life-giving, life-sustaining environment is what, ultimately, conditions a house to transcend to the threshold of home.

Consider the importance of our personal living space for a minute. It is the one place on earth that is consistently the starting point for each of our daily journeys; a safe haven for family and friends; a sacred place where we find sustenance for body and soul; the place we share our lives in the most intimate manner with one another; and the final destination at the end of each day - our refuge from the disconcerting demands of the outside world.

Creating a nurturing home environment only requires giving loving attention to the particular needs of each individual living within its walls. For most of us, those need areas include:

Safety & security Relaxation & recuperation Sustenance & refueling

Solitude & privacy Creativity & self-expression Health & well-being

Loving support & communion Belonging & connectedness

Romance & companionship Inner peace & spiritual renewal

Transforming your house ( which may be a one-room flat or an eight-bedroom Italianate) into a home begins by addressing these areas of need, one by one and step by step, from the perspective of your spiritual beliefs. First clarify your ideals. What is the highest expression of them you can conceive? This is where you start.

In time, you will create the home and homelife you envision and long for in your deeper Self; the one your family can thrive in, feel secure and rooted in; and the one in which your friends and acquaintances feel graciously welcomed and embraced.

Susan L. Stevens